i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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