You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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