She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
