Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
