I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Everything about him screamed your future.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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