That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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