White coat. Heels.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
