I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
But break dance skills will only take you so far
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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