guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize