You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have already put on my inside pants.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
