just tell him i said nine months
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
