i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We left the knife in your bed.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
