i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
