My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
