weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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