my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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