I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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