He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize