no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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