Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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