it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
