maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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