spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
