I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
