I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
