just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
