I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
