Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
