I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My bed smells like the plague
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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