I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
