I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
