Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Randomize
