i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
