new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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