I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
