I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
