i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
