she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize