im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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