if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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