Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
