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• (607): View more from New York

  It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG

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• (936): View more from Texas

  If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.

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• (510): View more from California

  Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.

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