you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
