More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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