You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
