it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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