How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
