I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize