i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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