So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
