planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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