Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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