I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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