yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
