you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
