Well apparently he's into motor boating.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
