I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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