my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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