How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
