so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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