it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
