We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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