Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
