i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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