I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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