he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
