I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
