I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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